The Sith Lord explained, “My evil is fictional. But this felonious turd is committing real evil and ruining real lives. Besides, being nominated the same week as Rudy Giuliani is just plain rude.”
Cryptologists and Where's Waldo aficionados believe Melania Trump is sending a clear message to her size-challenged husband: Focus on your endowment, not Harvard's. Get the enlargement procedure. Now.
The babysitter, Julie, has been trapped for over four days now. MomDad, hardcore devotees of Gentle Parenting, claim their child -- and no one else -- gets to decide when his jail game ends.
Not much, except GOP Senators get lifelong pensions and healthcare but voted to reduce the most basic benefits for their constituents, even the MAGA cult followers who voted for them.
Just between you and me when you say between you and I methinks us need to talk.
Committed to controlling the minds of its students, and frustrated by the backlash to its book bans and burnings, MAGA ES47 has found a new way to demonize the crown jewel of American Institutions.
Among 6-94 year-olds, the fear of being included (FOBI) is now more terrifying than the fear of missing out (FOMO). Go figure.
Spell it aloud, all slow and gentle like. Repeat until your ears are filled with the sound of B, U, T. Then shout the headline aloud in public. Trigger alert: the hills may just come alive.
Asked about the Friends sitcom deal with X, Beta Boy quipped, "Facebook really needs Friends now, especially after I redesigned FB so users hardly see any of their friends' posts anymore, just ads."
A White House leaker noticed the map hanging above the toilet while going #1 in that speakeasy bathroom behind a wood panel in the oval office.
Anyone whose woo (winning over others) needs a new hairdo with some woo-woo highlights is invited to attend Rüneth's silent online retreat he's moderating offline.
In a very short but in-depth interview, Laugh Out Loud (who prefers to be called LOL), wonders if it means anything at all, and pulls no punches when asked how it feels about LMAO.
First it was the sage on stage, then the guide on the side. Now the future of school has no teacher at all.
The split transpired at that Coney up from Eastern Market on Gratiot. It was all amicable. They both knew they were better as table neighbors.
... in a rat-infested alley next do a dumpster. Missing for decades now, the angels were presumed dead by just about everyone. His mom and wife declined to comment.
The agency played down the latest addition to the FBI list. Asst. Director Bongino, whose own pair remains on the missing big boy pants list, refused to offer any truthful details.