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Clarification: The FB watch of this post’s title is actually a magic wristband worn by META master, Marky Z. The wristband is still in Beta mode, like its creator, who predicts it will make people feel more free and alive by offering them the magic of controlling external objects with various flicks of the wrist. .
When Beta Boy was challenged to explain why he cares about Friends on X when he doesn’t care about Friends on Facebook, or how more ads and fewer friend interactions was fulfilling Facebook’s mission to “give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together,” he smiled and raised his wrist to show off his latest magic wristband prototype.
“As a tech visionary, I realized it was time to lead my 3.065 billion FB users out of the dark ages of human-human interactions and into the brave new world of human-object domination.”
“Magic Wristband Users (MUAs) will be able to manipulate objects in their external environment with absolute precision, the way I’ve longed to control all the stupid people I have to deal with, like investors, employees, and European regulators.
Suddenly, Master Marzuck flashed an epiphanic smile. “Once you feel the power of scrolling the internet by waving your wrist, you will forget all about your friends.” Then the Magic Wristband Visionary (his moniker, not ours) gave a quick wave of his wrist and floated high in the air as he continued to look down on everyone.
